By Safura Houghton   Wed, Feb 01, 2012

Did you know that Sex and Relationships education is started in some schools at the age of just five?

 

Did you know that the ‘Living and Growing’ programme used in many schools is graphically sexually explicit, introducing very young children into the sex lives of adults and promoting different sexual behaviours?

 

Are you shocked yet?

 

We recently initiated a community event in Milton Keynes on the topic of SRE, where we invited guest speaker Antonia Tully, who is co-ordinator for the Safe at School campaign. Our event was focused on informing parents about what their children might be exposed to at school.

 

Antonia brought along a copy of the ‘Living and Growing’ DVD and educational material produced for schools. Needless to say, the content we were shown was shocking. Many of us were embarrassed at the inappropriate detail and the bold language used throughout the DVD. Some parents actually walked out during the event.

 

According to several anti-SRE groups and many experts, the explicit nature of sex education in schools is priming children to become sexually active. Many parents are also worried that secondary schools are promoting contraceptives and abortion services to their children.

 

Sex and Relationships education (commonly known as SRE) has been in the media spotlight several times over the last couple of years.

 

It was the intention of the previous Labour government to make SRE a statutory part of the National Curriculum, however the Parliamentary Bill was not approved so the law remains unchanged on this. This means our children do NOT have to be exposed to this improper content in school.

As Muslims, it is important to remember that sex education is important and a vital part of life. However, we must be extremely careful about the WAY in which it is taught and WHEN it is taught to our children, as well as WHO teaches them:

 

Why should a child aged 5, 6 or even 7 be taught exactly how babies are made??

 

Why should a 9 or 10 year old be taught that sex is fun and enjoyable??

 

What is the need? Where is the necessity? More importantly, what will be the outcome of planting such inappropriate ideas in our childrens’ heads??

 

Shouldn’t we leave all this detail out until our children are much older and when these topics have some purpose and relevance?

 

Unfortunately the current system of SRE does not include a moral framework and leaves religion and ethics out altogether. This means, sadly, that parents’ views or religious beliefs will not be taken into consideration when children are taught SRE…but as parents, we are the best people to judge what our children are taught and when. Nobody knows our children better than we do!

 

I know that when my daughter asks me a question she requires a simple answer, befitting a seven year old. I also know that she will be happy and content to learn just that her baby sister grew in and came out of mummy’s tummy but will not ask further detailed questions. I would not bombard my daughter with unnecessary information, therefore forcing her to grow up before her time, she is a CHILD. When she is ready to ask more detailed questions, I will be ready with relevant and appropriate answers.

 

Since my involvement in this community initiative, I have spoken to many mothers, some concerned about their children and some completely unaware of what their children are being taught, Subhanallah.

 

I am shocked at how many parents actually think it is illegal to take their children out of SRE lessons, and saddened that some parents had found out afterwards that their children had been exposed to this illicit material at school in PHSE lessons, and these parents had not even been properly informed!

 

I have come across some interesting arguments and comments. Some see us as ‘narrow-minded’ and ‘prudish’. One mother told me it was not up to us to decide what they teach in school and teachers know best. Another told me she thought it was more damaging to exclude children from these lessons if all the other children were taking part.

 

It is important to remember that the facts about the damaging effects of SRE and the campaigns against it have been issued by experts, mostly non-Muslims. It is not just Muslims who are against SRE, we are not being prudish or narrow-minded. We have a responsibility to our children, no matter which religion we follow, and regardless of our background or culture.

 

It is also vital to mention that not all schools will use these SRE materials. The fact is, it is up to each individual school to decide if, how and when they will teach SRE. Some schools have come under pressure from parents not to use the Living and Growing DVD and the school governors and head teachers have decided against it.

 

Some important points to consider:

 

• Sex education is not compulsory in other European countries.
• No other country has such graphic SRE material.
• The past 30 years has seen a substantial increase in the provision of sex education in secondary schools, yet the UK still has the highest rate of teenage conceptions in Western Europe, and sexually transmitted infections have continued to rise.

 

So what can I do?

Make sure you are well armed with facts!

 

• There is no requirement in National Curriculum Science at either Key Stage 1 or Key Stage 2 to teach children about the sexual organs, sexual intercourse, contraception, sexually transmitted infections, or same-sex relationships

 

• Key Stage 1: (5-7 years) children should learn that ‘animals, including humans, move, feed, grow, use their senses and reproduce’ and should be taught ‘to recognize and compare the main external parts of the bodies of humans and animals’

 

• Key Stage 2: (7-11 years) national curriculum science merely requires schools to teach that ‘the life processes common to humans and other animals include nutrition, movement, growth and reproduction’ and ‘about the main stages of the human life cycle’

 

• According to DFE guidance, schools are accountable to parents and have a duty to work in partnership with them, not with the local authority.

 

• The DFE guidance emphasises that parents should be consulted by schools to ensure sex education policies reflect their wishes: This means you have a right to speak to your child’s head teacher about their school policy on SRE.

 

• If the governors DO decide to provide sex education lessons, the law requires them to keep a written statement of their policy, and to make copies of the statement available to parents or registered pupils, free of charge.

 

As a concerned parent myself, I would urge others to find out what their school policy is on SRE, make an appointment to speak to the head teacher about any concerns you have. You may be pleasantly surprised and find that your school opts out of using the current SRE resources.

 

Ask to be kept informed about SRE provision in your child’s school, you can request that the school notifies you BEFOREHAND so that you can make an informed choice.

 

If you find out that SRE lessons are taking place, you have every right to withdraw your child from those lessons.

 

It is imperative that we know the law and all the facts so that we can make a stand. Please visit the following websites for further details and guidelines:

www.sreislamic.org

 

www.spuc.org.uk

 

May Allah guide us, protect us and keep our children on the Straight Path. Ameen.

 

By Sumaiya Umm Imran (Editor)   Tue, Jan 31, 2012

As a result, the dress just stays there in our cupboards for years and gathers dust. We might hope that our daughters or daughter-in-laws will give it a try. But let’s face it; fashion changes all the time. I personally think there is no point holding on to bridal dresses, especially when it costs us a fortune! Recently I came across a great charity organisation that helps the poor brides to make their big day a special one by sending (used) bridal dresses from the UK. It’s a great way to re-use your dresses and earn Allah (SWT)’s pleasure Insha-Alah!

Blessed Brides is a non-profit initiative overseen by Ummah Welfare Trust (UWT). Their aim is to help contribute towards and raise money for people in third world countries who otherwise could not fund a wedding. The charity encourage brides to donate their gowns after use, to enable them to either sell them to fund the weddings, or send the gowns direct to new brides who could only dream of wearing beautiful outfits like the ones we are accustomed to having. They also accept financial donations towards the UWT Wedding Fund.

The project has been running over a year. So rather than allow your wedding outfit to be stored away, they aim to make use of it by allowing others who cannot afford such expenses to benefit from it insha-Allah.

Not everyone has items to donate towards the project and so the option of donating monetarily is available. The cost to fund a wedding in its entirety is minimal in comparison to the thousands spent on lavish weddings. For instance, the cost of funding a full wedding in the deprived countries the charity is collecting for is as follows:

India: £200

Bangladesh: £250

Pakistan: £300

Any contributions, large or small, will partially or fully fund a simple wedding in compliance with the Shari'ah. It will, with your help, be made extra special with lovely unused wedding outfits. The Prophet (salla’Allahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said:

"None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself." [al-Bukhari & Muslim].

So, insha'Allah, please give as much as you can afford and may you be rewarded abundantly in return.

To donate, you can either contribute online at:

http://www.justgiving.com/blessedbrides

Or call the UWT donations line on Tel: 0800 4 0800 11 (selecting option 1).

In order to promote the great project, send an email to all your contacts; tell your family and friends about Blessed brides’ campaign. Help them to make this project a success.

You can visit their website: www.blessedbrides.co.uk for more information.

And in closing, we leave you with the words of our beloved Prophet (salla’Allahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) who said: “The believer's shade on the Day of Resurrection will be his Sadaqah.” [Ahmad]

 

By Tasnim Nazeer   Tue, Jan 31, 2012

Anger can arrive in many forms and it is one feeling that the Shaytan loves us to have because one person’s anger could lead to many people getting hurt. However there are many ways which we could avoid anger and instil peace within our hearts.

Muslims who have acquired Taqwa of god consciousness and have the fear of Allah (Swt) instilled in their hearts will find that anger can quickly be surpassed with the remembrance of our Almighty creator.

It was narrated that a man once approached our beloved Prophet (Peace and blessings be upon him) for advice. He (Peace and blessings be upon him) said, “Do not become angry.” The man repeated his request for advice, and each time, the Prophet replied: “Do not become angry.” (Bukhari). This indicates the Prophets (Peace and blessings be upon him) dislike towards anger and promotion of peace and good behaviour.

Our beloved Prophet showed us how to move away from anger and it has been narrated on the importance of calming ourselves down and avoiding this dangerous emotion. It was narrated by 'Abdullah bin 'Umar that Allah's Messenger who has said: "No one does anything more excellent in the sight of Allah, The Great and The Glorious, than restraining his anger, seeking to please Allah." [Ahmad and At-Tirmithi]

One of the best ways for a person to control his anger is by becoming more aware of his own personal behaviour and habits. Only too often, in the midst of a heated discussion, a person's muscles start to become tense and the pulse increases rapidly. When this happens, it is possible that the person will become angry and irrational. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) has advised us that paying attention to these physical signs is very important.

He said: "Beware of anger, for it is a live coal on the heart of the son of Adam. Do you not notice the swelling of the veins of his neck and the redness of his eyes?" [At-Tirmithi]

Health is not the only aspect of our spiritual wellbeing that gets affected by anger but it also affects our Iman as anger is like a fire which needs to be burned out as soon as possible in order to stop it increasing. "The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: ‘Some are swift to anger and swift to cool down, the one characteristic making up for the other; some are slow to anger and slow to cool down, the one characteristic making up for the other; but the best of you are those who are slow to anger and swift to cool
down, and the worst of you are those who are swift to anger and slow to cool down.’" [At-Tirmithi]

Making wudu can help to ease anger as it cools you down with the remembrance of Allah (swt) and turns your focus on our divine creator. Also it is advised that if one becomes angry while standing then they should sit and if they are sitting they should lie down until the anger leaves him. This excellent advice was given by our beloved Prophet as he said, Narrated Abu Thar: "The Messenger of Allah said to us: ‘When one of you becomes angry while standing, he should sit down. If the anger leaves him, well and good; otherwise he should lie down’." [Abu Dawood].

We all know that this world is temporary and our permanent life is in the hereafter. We all want to strive for a place in Jannah and hope that we can attain peace in our hearts to remain positive and spiritually well and avoid the dangerous emotion of anger.

By Aaliyah Umm Ibrahim   Tue, Jan 31, 2012

The tools for bringing up children are all there (in the Quran, the Sunnah, and the examples of our pious predecessors), still adaptable in our day and age. But many of us act like poor workmen and blame the tools when the job “fails”, instead of our own lack of knowledge or attempt to apply it.

Mercy towards Children

So how was the Prophet (Sallallahu 'Alayhi Wasallam) with children? Here’s a few hadiths, which we might all well know, to remind us:

The Prophet (Sallallahu 'Alayhi Wasallam) said, "He is not of us who does not have mercy on young children, nor honour the elderly" (Al-Tirmidhi Hadith)

Allah's Apostle kissed Al-Hasan bin Ali while Al-Aqra' bin Habis At-Tamim was sitting beside him. Al-Aqra said, "I have ten children and I have never kissed anyone of them." Allah's Apostle cast a look at him and said, "Whoever is not merciful to others will not be treated mercifully." ( Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.26 Narrated by Abu Huraira RA)

The Apostle of Allah (Sallallahu 'Alayhi Wasallam) came to some children who were playing: He greeted them lovingly. (Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 5183 Narrated by Anas ibn Malik)

“I served the Prophet (Sallallahu 'Alayhi Wasallam) for ten years, and he never said to me, "Uf" (a minor harsh word denoting impatience) and never blamed me by saying, "Why did you do so or why didn't you do so?" (Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith v8 #64 Narrated by Anas (when mentioning his childhood))

From this we can deduct, that in the sunnah we have been given clear instructions to treat our children with gentleness, mercy and compassion. We have heard stories of how Hassan and Husain (RA) would sometimes climb on the Prophets (pbuh) back, while he was praying, and he remained in his position until they moved away, we know he used to go to the houses of some of his companions and play with their children. Mercy is the incredible gift of Allah Subhana Ta’ala that He bestows on parents, so that they would be able to take care, love and cherish their children.

Nowadays many of us seem to have lost balance though, and we are either too strict or too lax in our attitudes. So did the Prophet (Sallallahu 'Alayhi Wasallam) ever discipline children?

Discipline

The Prophet (Sallallahu 'Alayhi Wasallam) never raised his own hand against a child (or a women, for that matter), and we should do our best to apply to this sunnah. There are some ahadtih that people unfortunately take out of the context ,misinterpret and then justify
themselves, such as: Narrated Ibn ‘Abbaas that the Messenger of Allaah (Sallallahu 'Alayhi Wasallam) said: “Hang your whip where the members of the household can see it, for that will discipline them.”

However the hadith doesn’t advise us to use that whip, and the Prophet never told anyone to do such a thing in any other narration either. Islam is the religion of the middle path, and avoiding extremes. When are we, then, allowed to use physical discipline?

“There are various opinions of how to discipline one’s children. Some groups advocate physical forms of disciplinary action, while other groups completely oppose of it. The Islamic way is a middle ground between these two ideologies. Parents are only given permission to lightly smack their children in certain circumstances and with restrictive conditions. [Mawsu’a al-Difa’ ‘an al-Rasul] Scholars note that it
is permissible for parents to give their child a light smack if they’ve previously resorted to other methods of disciplinary action that proved
unsuccessful. Or another example is if the child has reached the age of 10 years and refuses to pray, after the parents have attempted since the age of 7 to exhort and instruct the child to worship the Lord of the Worlds. [ibn Zayn, al-‘Uqubat al-Tarbawiyya al-Mufida]

If giving a child a light smack, one should know that

1. One cannot hit his face;

2. It cannot be a harsh or severe hitting;

3. It must be done with the intent to discipline the child, not out of anger; and

4. One cannot insult, degrade, or verbally abuse the child. Scholars concur that the best place to lightly smack a child is on the two hands or the two feet. [Mawsu’a al-Difa’ ‘an al-Rasul]”

Scholars have also pointed out, that if we beat our children for minor issues (for example a child breaks our favourite vase, paints on our best abaya, pours a pot of curry on the living room carpet, etc (provided of course, that these are accidents, or that the child is small), or even if we clearly get angry and start yelling for these kind of incidents, what effect can we expect beating or yelling to have on them, when they’re 10 and (Allah forbid) refuse to pray? It will have no effect, whatsoever, except a negative one, because this will lead the child to
think, that, for example, breaking a vase and not praying are in the same category (which of course they’re not. Of course the situation is different, if the child does these kinds of things on purpose, or when they are, let’s say, older than 7).

Favouritism and Empty Promises

The Prophet (Sallallahu 'Alayhi Wasallam) also strictly advised us against having favouritism amongst our children. We should make sure we treat our children equally, at all times. We should also never make empty promises of lie to our children. Here are some ahadith to illustrate this:

My mother called me once, whilst the Prophet (peace be upon him) was at our home and she said, "Come here, I will give you something."
Thereupon the Prophet (peace be upon him) asked, “What did you want to give to him?" She replied, "Dates." The Prophet then said,
"Had you not given him anything, it would have been recorded as a lie." (Sunan of Abu Dawood Hadith Narrated by Ibn Aamir)

The Prophet (Sallallahu 'Alayhi Wasallam) said: "Act equally between your children; Act equally between your sons." (Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 3537 Narrated byAn-Nu'man ibn Bashir)

I heard An-Nu'man bin Bashir on the pulpit saying, "My father gave me a gift but 'Amra bint Rawaha (my mother) said that she would not agree to it unless he made Allah's Apostle as a witness to it. So, my father went to Allah's Apostle and said, 'I have given a gift to my son from 'Amra bint Rawaha, but she ordered me to make you as a witness to it, O Allah's Apostle!' Allah's Apostle asked, 'Have you given (the like of it) to everyone of your sons?' He replied in the negative. Allah's Apostle said, 'Be afraid of Allah, and be just to your children.' My father then returned and took back his gift." (Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 3.760 Narrated by Amir)

You get what you give, inshaAllah

We should give these narrations the weight they deserve. We would all love our children to treat us the sunnah way, especially when we reach old age, wouldn’t we? But how can we expect this to happen, if we don’t ourselves raise them the sunnah way? At the end of the day, what all these modern child psychologists and super-nannies are saying is what already as Muslim parents we should know; to be loving, but firm. To be always be fair. To expect realistically. To communicate. And to know, that if we want our children’s behaviour to change, if we want them to become good people, we must first become good people ourselves.

There is a sunnah to following the sunnah – we need to understand the spirit of the sunnah instead of just picking and choosing what is convenient for us to follow, or what makes us look religious. A good general guideline (for dealing with our children, as well as everyone else) would then be:

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said to me, "O A'isha, be gentle, for gentleness has never been used in anything without beautifying it; and it has never been removed from something without debasing it." ( Sunan of Abu Dawood Hadith Narrated by A'isha)

By Kaouther   Tue, Jan 31, 2012

For my first recipe, I would like to suggest this classical Algerian dish, often cooked for guests and always present on the "A list” of Ramadan menu. The dish is called chicken with green olives.....aka "chtit'ha bezitoun" in Algerian dialect. Dozens of varieties exist according to regional and family heritage, some prefer a spicy version, others add a handful of chickpeas for extra character, some prefer the use of parsley, others of cilantro leaves etc.
The version I'm suggesting today is the one I learned from the women of my family and the one I cook for my guests.......

Note that the Algerian version of this classical North African dish calls for the use of freshly squeezed lemon instead of the preserved one.

If fresh olives are used, make sure to desalinate them first by soaking them two to three times in hot water before adding them to the tajine. If you use canned olives instead, just wash them thoroughly and use them as instructed below.

 

INGREDIENTS:

1 chicken cut into pieces

2 onions chopped

3 cloves of garlic minced

Salt (go easy on the salt
as the olives are already salted)

1 teaspoon ground ginger

1 teaspoon turmeric

1/4 teaspoon freshly ground
pepper

1 tablespoon of ghee or
butter

1 cup green olives, pitted

1/4 cup chopped fresh
flat-leaf parsley or cilantro

1 lemon cut into quarters
to decorate

PROCEDURE:

For better results, coat the chicken with the above spices and let it marine overnight. If that is not possible, just place the chicken, spices, onion, garlic and the ghee in a normal skillet and brown for 10 minutes under very low heat, turning over, now and then so that the chicken pieces don't stick to the bottom of the skillet. Cover with hot water and let it simmer on medium heat. When the chicken is half
cooked, add the pitted olives and continue cooking until it gets tender and the gravy is thick and reduced.

Before serving, you can take out the chicken pieces, mix two tablespoon of gravy and a knob of butter, brush the chicken with this mixture and get it roasted in a hot oven. Alternatively, you can fry them in a mixture of oil and butter or just leave them as they are.

To serve, place the chicken pieces in a big shallow plate, add the gravy and the olives. Squeeze some lemon juice and decorate the dish
with chopped parsley and lemon wedges.

Serve hot with Algerian bread (kesra) or French baguette, never ever with rice or couscous. I'm including here the picture of the type of bread we eat with this particular dish. I just want to show that we don't eat our food with couscous the way most of the times western sites tend to suggest.

Enjoy!

By Umm Salihah ( Deputy editor)   Fri, Feb 03, 2012

I enjoy my in-laws extended visits, especially the long meals, the long walks and the long talks, with laughter late into the early hours of the morning at time. This means that at the moment our home is busy but pleasant. It hasn’t always been this way though and it has taken a bit of work and growing up from everyone to get to this point.

Mum-in-Law

The first time my mother-in-law came to stay there were tears, arguments and sulks on both sides, with my poor husband trying to mediate as best he could. We are both fairly strong-willed and used to getting our way. We both had to learn that sometimes it is better to step back and let small things go.

The second time my mother-in-law came to stay, she had already been diagnosed with Hepatitis C and we were not sure how much time she had with us as she had been told her illness was untreatable. I wanted to keep her happy and as well as possible given the situation. She wanted me to be happy and at ease with her. The small things seemed so irrelevant, we had reached a point where we were both willing to capitulate to the others way of doing things.

So I suppose for my mother-in-law, the art of living together involved not “sweating the small stuff” as it were, letting go. If she wanted more chilli in the curry, fine. I didn’t want to hoover that minute, fine.

Of course, it’s not always small stuff. During a stay with her in Pakistan, she wanted me to take my hijab off for a wedding, I was mortified. I had to ask for assistance from hubby, who waited until my mother-in-law was within ear-shot and commanded sternly “Just because you are going to a wedding, don’t think you can take your hijab off”. I was killing myself with laughter. That’s not to judge her harshly, because a year later when she came to stay with me, she left wearing hijab and abaya mash’Allah.

There was also the matter of control, at first I felt I could not cook what I want, leave the house in a mess if I wanted to or spend my money how I wanted to. This was not because of anything she said but because of my assumptions and because she would not sit still. She has worked hard and been careful with her money her entire life and sickness has not changed that habit. If the cooking or cleaning or laundry was not done she would rush to do it her way. So I learned to get it done myself at the first opportunity or delegate to my husband or brother-in-laws with the maxim that “Your mum is ill, she needs rest, so get this done before she does” – I can’t believe this worked.

I also had to deal with my assumptions that she thought me lazy, spendthrift, or wasteful. She has never actually said any of these things so I need to give her the benefit of the doubt. I had to remember that I’m an adult and I can spend my time and money in the way that I choose. If anyone says anything about this, then I can take their comments on board and thank them for their concern but then totally
ignore it if I choose to.

Father-in-Law

Living with my father-in-law was a whole different kettle of fish. I think he is wonderful, he is the doting parent that any girl would wish for and we have in common a liking for the things that bore the entire rest of the family: history, museums, academia (we both loved Stonehenge, whilst the everyone else could not see the interest in a bunch of old rocks). My youngest brother-in-law (I have
five mash’Allah) once said to me that even if he brings five more daughters-in-law, he’ll still adore you more than the others put together. So you can imagine we have a mutual fan club there.

We weren’t without our teething problems though. Dad-in-law wasn’t aware of when he could be critical. So his comments about my cooking, how well my sister-in-law dressed and how beautiful she was knocked my confidence quite a bit. This was not intentional
and if he had known he would have been mortified. I had to learn though to accept how I am and to accept my cooking as it was. I had to remind myself that I don’t have to impress anyone but Allah (SWT) and that I didn’t need anyone’s approval. I still don’t have much confidence in the kitchen, but I’m not too fussed anymore about what people think about me.

Regarding privacy, during the in-laws first visit, I was breast-feeding Gorgeous, so I had to make it very, very clear that when my bedroom door is closed, no-one comes in. That has held so that when I need quiet- or alone- time I can just go in my room and shut the door.

Brothers-in-Law

My brothers-in-law are my age and younger so we share a mind-set, however, they are also non-Mahram for me. Although I think highly of all of them and we have a relationship of mutual respect (and they all make me laugh myself silly), I still dress modestly when they are around and cover my hair, including at home. This can feel bothersome at times, especially as I want to look nice for my husband, but I am now used to it and to be honest this is not a problem when we only have the older brother-in-law with us because he is rarely home.

Uqba bin Amir reported Allah’s Messenger (PBUH) as saying: “Beware of getting, into the houses and meeting women (in seclusion). A person from the Ansir said: Allah’s Messenger, what about husband’s brother, whereupon he said: Husband’s brother is like death.” (Muslim 8:26:5400)

Although there is no obligation in Islam on a woman to care for her in-laws, there is an obligation to care for our parents. If we viewed our in-laws in the same way as our parents, with the same empathy and concern, we would be willing to change our behaviour a little and guide them gently to adjust theirs. Also they ARE my husband’s parents and because he is wonderful and I truly believe he deserves
paradise, I want to help him serve them and make his way to his reward insh’Allah.

Finally, we will all one day be old if death does not reach us first. The way the elderly are treated today is sad and frightening. What is to say things will be any different from us – alone, uncared for and robbed blind? I believe that we are paid back for what we do (Allah SWT is truly just) and if we care for our elders perhaps someone will care for us. I also know that children learn from what we do and not what we say. If we make caring for our elders, even difficult ones, the norm in our homes, they might just extend the same treatment to us as the perfectly natural way to behave.

“And your Lord has commanded that you shall not serve (any) but Him, and that you shall show goodness to your parents. If either or both of them reach old age with you, say not to them (so much as) “Ugh” nor chide them, and speak to them a generous
word.” (Quran 17:23)

Narrated 'Abdullah: I asked the Prophet (PBUH) "Which deed is the dearest to Allah?" He replied, "To offer the prayers at their early stated fixed times." I asked, "What is the next (in goodness)?" He replied, "To be good and dutiful to your parents" I again asked, "What is the next (in goodness)?" He replied, 'To participate in Jihad (religious fighting) in Allah's cause." 'Abdullah added, "I asked only that much and if I had asked more, the Prophet would have told me more." (Bukhari 1:10:505)

By Farhana Moosa   Thu, Feb 02, 2012

Assalato wassalamo alaika Ya Rasool Allah
Wa ala alika wa ashabika Ya Habeeb Allah

In a world of darkness, ignorance and pain

A struggle for power, money and gain

No thought for the women, the poor, hungry and destitute.

A month arrived, Rabi ul awwal

A month of significance, of hope and blessings

For during this month the earth received the gift, Muhammad SAW

His birth brought down a noor (light) that none could explain.

So among the confusion, the chaos and the pain, a man emerged and Muhammad (SAW)
was his name.

His sunnah is exemplary and one we should keep near and dear to our hearts.

My most personal favourite is the sunnah of the visiting and treatment of the sick in Islam.

Being personally and physically involved in this matter has made me realize that in this day and age of just surviving like hamster on a never ending wheel, we never provide our sick with the love and care that they need.

Apart from that Satan has allowed us to live such frivolous lives to ensure temporary rewards on this duniya while we forfeit our mercies in the hereafter –cunning Satan at his best.

Abu Saeed Khudri RadiAllaho Ta’ala Anho narrates that “Any sorrow, poverty, worry, trouble, injury and any sort of calamity hurts a Muslim
even if a thorn that hurts him, Allah forgives his sins for his troubles”. (Bukhari)

There are great rewards in visiting the sick. The Messenger Sallallahu Alayhi Wasalam has said, “Whoever visits a sick person in the morning then seventy thousand angels shall invoke mercy on the visitor until the evening. And whosoever visits a sick person in the evening then seventy thousand angels shall make supplication (dua) for mercy upon that visitor until the morning and he shall also have a garden in Paradise”. SubhanAllah Azzawajal!!

The Prophet of Allah Azzawajal would visit those people who were ill and would stand on one side of the door and in a loud voice would
give salutation (salaam) and thereafter ask for permission to enter. The Messenger Sallallahu Alayhi Wasalam has forbidden standing in front of the door way. The prescribed method is to say our name so that the person in the house knows who it is and take permission. After gaining permission you should enter the house and say salaam.

The Messenger Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam would put his blessed hand on the forehead of the person who was ill and make a supplication
(dua) for good health and advise the person to remember Almighty Allah at all times.

The Messenger Sallallahu Alayhi Wasalam visited the non-Muslims too, as he was “Rahmatul lil aalameen” meaning a mercy unto all the
worlds.

Abu Sa’eed RadiAllaho Ta’ala Anho narrates that “When you enter to visit an invalid, express a hope that he will live long. That will not avert anything, but it will comfort him”. ( Tirmidhi)

Umme Salam RadiAllaho Ta’ala Anha has related that the Messenger Sallallahu Alayhi Wasalam saying, “When you visit an ill person tell
him to make supplication for you, for his supplication is like that of an angel”. (Meaning the supplication will be accepted soon)

The following dua should be made for the patient seven times: -

Asalullahual ad’heema Rabbal a’rshil a’dheemi aa’yashfiyka (repeat 3 times)

The translation for the above supplication is: ‘I ask Almighty Allah the great, who is the Rabb of the great throne to give you ‘shifa’ (cure)’.

In summary the manners of visiting the sick are:

•When visiting the sick one should first greet him and then enquire about his health.

•One should not visit the sick for a long period.

•One should always encourage the sick person and be careful not to speak of things that may cause them to despair and loose hope.

•One should say the following when in the presence of the patient ‘Do not be afraid if Almighty Allah wills this will be atonement for ones sins’.

May Allah Azzawajal give us all the ability to practice upon what has been learnt today and may He Azzawajal give us the ability to pass on this knowledge to others, Ameen !

(Information taken from (Riyadhus Sunnah) Gardens of Sunnah, Chapter 34, page 264-267)

 

By Hannatu Adamu   Thu, Feb 02, 2012

One will find that simple, everyday activities of man such as how and what to eat, when and how to respond to greetings from others and even what to wear, are laid out by Islam.

When it comes to decorating the home, for example, one would normally think that it would be a simple decision for any woman to make regarding her home. Largely, even in Islam, this is so.

The basic principle of law in Islam is that everything is permissible, except otherwise made impermissible by the shari’ah. It follows, therefore, that a woman can decorate her home with whatever and however she likes, except what Islam expressly prohibits.

Here, we come to the issue of pictures. Nowadays, it is the norm to find homes decorated with photographs, figurines and paintings of humans as well as animals all over the place. It is almost considered a must that, at least, a family portrait hangs on the living room wall.

However, it is quite clear according to many authentic ahadith, that, at least, the hanging of pictures in the home is disliked by the prophet (pbuh) who has emphatically stated that it prevents the “Angels of Mercy” from entering into any such house in which hangs a picture of man or beast on the wall.

Narrated by A’isha (ra), “I bought a cushion with a picture (of animals) on it. When Allah’s Apostle saw it he stood at the door and did not enter. I noticed the sign of disapproval on his face and said, “O Allah’s Apostle, I repent to Allah and His Apostle. What sin have I committed? Allah’s Apostle said, “What is this cushion?” I said, “I have bought it for you so that you may sit on it and recline on it”. Allah’s Apostle said, “The makers of these pictures will be punished on the Day of Resurrection, and it will be said to them, “Give life to what you have created (i.e., those pictures). The Prophet added, “The Angels (of Mercy) do not enter a house in which there are pictures (of animals).”

In another narration, A’isha (ra) reported that “The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) visited me after returning from a journey, and I had a shelf with a thin cloth curtain hanging over it and on which there were portraits. When he saw it, the colour of his face changed (because of anger) and he said, “O ‘Aisha, the most grievous torment from Allah on the Day of Resurrection will be for those who imitate (Allah) in the act of His creation”. ‘Aisha said: “We tore it into pieces and made a cushion or two cushions out of that.” [Al Bukhari and Muslim]

Indeed, if it were a picture of a tree, perhaps, a house or other lifeless object, it would not matter for such things are soulless as such. But animate illustrations are definitely unacceptable. However, it is permissible to use materials which have pictures for bed sheets, carpets, cushions or such things on which people trample, as happened in the hadith above.

Decorating your home with pictures is certainly not something you can’t live without. If you tried taking the pictures away and replacing them with other lifeless features or art work expressions, you will find that they are in fact dispensable and replaceable. Besides, we could heed the advice of Ibn Abbas (ra) in one of the ahadith, when he said, “If you have to do it, draw pictures of trees and other inanimate things.”

Clearly, from the few ahadith cited above (as well as many others not mentioned here) pictures of animate things are not allowed to be displayed in a Muslim home.

On the issue of keeping dogs in the home as pets, A'isha (ra) reported in a hadith that Gabriel (pbuh) made a promise with Allah's Messenger (pbuh) to come at a definite hour. That hour came but he did not visit him. And there was in his hand (in the hand of Allah's Apostle) stuff. He threw it from his hand and said: Never has Allah or His messengers (angels) ever broken their promise. Then he cast a glance (and by chance) found a puppy under his cot and said: 'A'isha, when did this dog enter here? She said: By Allah, I don't know. He
then commanded and it was turned out. Then Gabriel came and Allah's Messenger (pbuh) said to him: You promised me and I waited for you, but you did not come, whereupon he said: It was the dog in your house which prevented me (to come), for we (angels) do not enter a house in which there is a dog or a picture.[Bukhari]

Again, there are countless other creatures one can keep in a home as pet. There is no hadith saying you can’t keep a cat, for example, or a parrot or even a rooster. After all, Islam does enjoin kindness to all animals. In a hadith narrated by Abu Huraira, the Prophet (pbuh) said, “There is reward in serving any animal.” There are in fact many ahadith commending individuals who have gone out of their ways to be kind to animals. Abu Huraira reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: "A person suffered from intense thirst while on a journey, when he found a well. He climbed down into it and drank (water) and then came out and saw a dog lolling its tongue on account of thirst and eating the moistened earth. The person said: This dog has suffered from thirst as I had suffered from it. He climbed down into the well, filled his shoe with water, then caught it in his mouth until he climbed up and made the dog drink it. So Allah appreciated this act of his and pardoned him. Then (the Companions around him) said: Allah's Messenger, is there for us a reward even for (serving) such animals? He said: Yes, there is a reward for service to every living animal."

Therefore, kindness to animals generally cannot be overemphasized. Even animals to be slaughtered are handled with compassion. The knife is to be as sharp as possible so that the slaughter is quick and painless. Also, in a number of ahadith, the prophet has prohibited using any animal for target practice.

Therefore, the fact that keeping a dog in the house as a pet is disallowed, does not in any way encourage treating it badly. Concessions have been made for when the dog is serving a particular farm purpose, such as a shepherd’s dog. Even then, it will be kept outdoors with the yard animals and not indoors.

Ibn Umar (ra) said: the messenger of Allah (pbuh) said, “He who keeps a dog other than one for guarding the fields or herds or hunting, will lose two Qirat every day out of his rewards.” [Al Bukhari and Muslim].

Perhaps, some may wonder how such a harmless creature (considered Man’s Best Friend in some quarters!) could be so “spiritually harmful” or why pictures can have such negative consequences for a home. But we must remember that we are first of all Muslims, meaning that we are those who submit their free will in Islam. We believe in everything brought to us by the Prophet.

Therefore, if we hope for salvation in the end, then we must, as He said, obey him and we shall achieve it. And if we insist on believing only that which makes sense to us, or following our hearts’ desires, then we might as well revoke the submission of our free will and live as we wish.

May Allah make it easy for us to live as Muslims in this day and age, not minding the times, ameen!

By Nafisa Anvar   Tue, Jan 31, 2012

Many generations later, a descendant was born. His name was Muhammad ibn Abdullah ibn Abdul Mutallib (peace and blessings of Allah
be upon him) and he is our beloved Prophet.

He is understood by most to have born in the early half of the current month we are in – Rabil-Awwal. There is no specific piece of information that tells us the exact date on which he was born, and because the early scholars never celebrated his birthday, they
never found this an issue. All we know for sure was that he was born on a Monday, which is probably one of the reasons why we fast on Mondays like the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) did, although this is not the only reason we do so.

There are many people out there who hold celebratory functions in 'honour' of his birth, thus celebrating his birthday. This is clearly an innovation and was never likewise done so by the early Muslims. What we should be doing in this holy month is reflecting on the personality of the man who simply cannot be reduced to a Mawlid celebration and function.

Our beloved Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) was an extremely handsome man and one of exceptionally wonderful
manners. When he met people, he would turn his body completely to meet them. He was the first to greet people and he always greeted them with a pleasant smile. His face was engulfed in radiant, blessed light that radiated like a bright moon. It was difficult for people to compose themselves in his presence due to their sheer awe of his presence and shock of how handsome he looked.

He was always cheerful, gentle and easy-going, but usually spent his time in quiet contemplation. When he spoke, all those around him listened in still silence, but when he fell silent, they would speak but they never argued with what he said. He was never rude in his speech or actions and never found fault with people, but didn't lavishly praise them either. He interacted with people in the best of ways: he never frowned at them, never turned away from them harshly and never pointed out slips of the tongue or any coarseness in speech. Each of those with him felt that they were the closest to him due to the way he treated each of the individuals.

He was the most truthful of people and the most honourable. Of all the things his enemies accused him of, lying was never one of those things. Even before his prophet-hood, he was nicknamed 'The Truthful One' by the Arabs. His friends and foes alike described him as the most generous, gentle and empowering human to walk the face of the earth. The very greatest and noblest of people would all say about him: ' I have never seen anyone, before him or after him, who was comparable to him.'

Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) was sent as a mercy to the world of humans and Jinns. He was our beloved
Prophet and Messenger, one blessed with wisdom and guidance from Allah with the mission to bring our world from darkness into light. He was sent to be loved by us even more than our own families and selves. He was sent to be followed, right down to his every word. He was sent to remind us of the Hereafter, to teach us how to get the best of it after we die. He was sent as a favour to us, to help us from misguidance and corruption. He was sent to us as an example on how life should be lived.

Although he was our beloved Prophet and we love him dearly, there is a note of caution regarding this. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:

“Do not over-praise me like the Christians over-praised the son of Mary. I am His slave, so say 'Allah's slave and messenger.' “(Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

Thus, giving him ninety-nine names (likening it with those of Allah) and celebrating his birthday (to mention a few) would be going completely against this Hadith. Love of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) should not be the reason for all this.

Loving him should mean that we love, learn, implement, promote, teach, protect and die for his Sunnah. It should mean that we follow his way to every letter. It should mean that we protect him and his reputation against the face of humiliation, lies and abuse. It should mean that we should be able to die for him, his religion and his cause.

“Say (O Muhammad): If you love Allah, then follow me, Allah will love you and forgive your sins. And Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.”(Surah 3: Verse 31)

This is the true meaning of loving him. Unfortunately, these days, most people don't seem to understand this. They think that throwing parties to celebrate his birthday and doing things which he explicitly warned against and forbade is 'loving him'. All that, the non-Muslims can do very easily. What then, is the difference between us and them?

Even though we might not have been blessed and fortunate enough to have met him in reality, let us attempt the next alternate.
Let us promote the cause he died and fought for, live his way, and teach his teachings. Let us do everything we can to be the one he will intercede for on the Day of Judgment. Let us be his followers, his successors, his Ummah. Let us celebrate his life, not one the 8^th or the 12^th or not even on the month of his birth, but rather every moment of our lives as we live and breathe his way.

May Allah bless and bestow peace upon him, our Prophet, Allah's slave and Messenger, Muhammad ibn Abdullah, and may Allah grant us the honour of being with him in Jannah. Ameen.

 

By Umm Salihah ( Deputy editor)   Tue, Jan 31, 2012

Some of these things are obvious – I have written before about finding ways to deal with some of the things that we have to do – avoiding handshakes, getting out of social events that are not appropriate for us (pubs, bars, work parties), avoiding the whole Christmas season. There are other aspects of keeping it halal in the workplace that are less tangible. Two of these in particular, I am conscious of.

The first is free mixing between women and men. I previously worked in an office where the whole office was staffed by women, with the
exception of one man, who mainly kept a low profile or tried to keep out of the office. This meant that I could be my loud, chatty, bubbly self, not worry too much about I was wearing and feel very comfortable in the workplace. I now work in a big open-plan office, with equal numbers of men and women. My manager is a man (although with an all-female team) and most of the people I have to build professional
relationships with are men. There are a number of ways in which I have learned to manage this situation.

I try to avoid organising private meetings (I don’t think these are productive anyway) and try to catch up with people at their desks or in the canteen. If I have to have meetings, I try to invite other people along that might be able to offer useful input to the meeting. Where I do have to meet alone with my manager, for instance for performance appraisals, I make sure I manage my natural talkativeness and friendliness and stick to business. This means that generally I have gotten a reputation for being more serious than I actually am. At first this bothered me because I have an innate weakness for wanting to be thought well of and liked. But actually this serves me well because
along with my hijab and abaya, being reserved creates a barrier between me and non-Mahram men and they are more careful of what they say and do when I am around.

The other issue that rears its ugly head all too often is that of office gossip. Gossiping is anathema in Islam:

"O you who believe! Avoid much suspicion, in deeds some suspicions are sins. And spy not neither backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it (so hate backbiting). And fear Allah, verily, Allah is the one who accepts repentance, Most Merciful." (Quran 49:12)

Yet, in many office environments, it seems that gossip is the favourite pastime of people, actively encouraged as harmless fun. Every time
you get up to make a cup of tea or get a drink of water, someone is waiting with the latest news. It’s all too easy to get drawn in by the latest story about who is seeing who in the office and who got caught doing what. It’s only when we stop and step back and think about what we are doing that we realise that just because our colleagues may not be Muslim, it doesn’t mean it is okay to say thinks about them in their absence which they might not like.

I have realised also that this kind of gossip is not hurtful for the person who is the subject of it, but also damaging to the one passing on the story and the one listening. Both are dirtied by their actions, the gossiper sullies their reputation as someone who engages in pettiness, lacks integrity and cannot be trusted to be discreet. The listener wastes their time and diverts energy into pointless activities.

A Muslimah in particular is an exemplar of good behaviour and as such should not just avoid gossip, but discourage it. I find that some of my good friends have this habit and as a people-pleaser I find it very easy to get drawn in and difficult to ask people to stop. So instead I change the subject or reply that I am not convinced as there is no evidence, just hearsay. At the same time, because I don’t pass gossip on, I find that my lunchtimes are often spent with people who have gotten in touch because they need someone to talk to who they can trust.

Subhan’Allah, the workplace can be a minefield for the Muslimah, but one which we can steer by taking some simple steps and regularly stopping to put our actions in the context of our faith: “Will this displease Allah (SWT)?”, “Does Islam allow this?”, “What would the Prophet (PBUH) do faced with such a situation?” When we take this approach, our behaviour transcends how we would act normally and we become women who are valued and respected because of our integrity and focus on the task at hand rather than being distracted by pettiness.

By Moshiur Rahman   Fri, Feb 03, 2012

But one thing that never changes is our need to be loved, especially at that time of our lives when we are going through our biggest physical, emotional and psychological changes. As a parent or a carer, this stage of a young person’s life is critical in how our future relationship with them will pan out. So why the big focus on teenagers? Why not just let them enjoy their youth and worry about more serious things later?

Aside from the fact that it is a religious obligation upon us to ensure that every child is brought up in the best way possible, we can take a glance around us to see the various pitfalls that can swallow a misguided young person. Recent findings from the Youth Lifestyles
Survey have suggested that serious persistent young offenders are more likely than other young people to have had weak family links and to have spent less time with their parents. It is vital that we spend time with our children from a young age so that we understand them and to keep the channels of communication open between us.

It is becoming more and more common for parents to contact their child’s teachers, madrassa ustadhs and local imams when their child has become rebellious. It is at this point that we come looking for a cure whereas before this we saw no reason nor desire to be in touch with these people who come into contact with our children for more than eight hours a day. We should be working with these people to seek prevention rather than coming to them when it is too late.

As a teacher and a mentor of young offenders, I have had the opportunity to see and hear firsthand the different types of relationships between parents and child. If we do not play active parts in our children’s lives from an early age, then the time will come when our conversations with them will simply involve reprimanding them and asking them where they have been. This will naturally put them on the defensive and feel like they are always being accused, whether they are doing something wrong or not.

The use of praise is key to ensuring that the child feels that they are appreciated. If they do well at school, madrassa or any extra-curricular activities then we must take an interest and praise them for their efforts. They should be able to understand from early on that we are a part of their lives so that they are able to open up to us when they reach their teenage years and the problems that come with it. If they do not feel this love and appreciation at home, the sad fact is that they will seek this elsewhere. For some it may mean they end up in gangs where other members will admire their abilities to such a degree that they will gain pleasure from hurting others or engaging in criminal activities. The growth of social network sites means that it is easy for friends and strangers to visit the young person’s profile and comment on how good-looking or talented they are, which in turn, fulfils that desire for acceptance we all seek. It goes without saying,
these people are often of the opposite gender and the consequences can range from anything including illicit relationships to paedophilia.

That said, a balance of reward and discipline is key. The example of the Prophet (SAW) is that he would play with children, even allowing them to ride on his back, as in the case of his grandchildren, Hassan and Hussain. But at the same time, when one of them as a young child reached for a date from a platter, the Prophet (SAW) slapped away his hand, saying that his family cannot eat of Sadaqah. It is this balance that helped Islam grow in the form of the esteemed Sahaba. Both young and old were taught by the Prophet (SAW), who at times would be gentle with them and other times harsh. We want our relationship with our young ones to be one of love and respect, not fear or contempt. And ultimately, we want them to be upright members of the community and the coolness of our eyes. But none of this will come to fruition unless we sacrifice our time and invest it in them.

By Grandma Jeddah   Thu, Feb 02, 2012

After you’ve calmed down a bit, you ponder the shouting and realize--maybe I overreacted. Now the guilt sets in.

Anas Ibn Malik said, “I served the Prophet (SAW) for ten years, and he never hit me, insulted me or frowned in my face." (Muslim)

This hadith is truly amazing. It’s amazing because children are children. Nature doesn’t change. Youngsters can be disruptive, forgetful, irresponsible and annoying at times. This hadith is a brilliant reminder that being patient with our children by restraining from using hurtful words and harmful striking is admirable.

But how do you do it? How do you stop that volcano from erupting when your kids get you steaming? Here are 5 tips that can assist you in reacting more compassionately when your children don’t listen or do as you say.

1. Try to remain calm. A lot easier said than done, but it can be done. When you feel yourself getting angry, sit down and rest or retreat to your room until you’ve calmed down. Try breathing in and out 10 times before acting. Also, seek refuge in Allah from Shaitan.

2. Be realistic. Know what the stages of development are for your child. The behavior that you may deem misconduct may simply be normal behavior. Also, keep in mind that your child is simply that—a child. According to one hadith, during his prayer, The Prophet (SAW) allowed his grandsons Hassan and Hussein to play on his back. This is during salat, mind you! What a fine example for us to follow in so many realms of our children’s activities.

3. Remember the hadith "A Muslim is the one from whose hands and tongue other Muslims are safe." (Tirmidhi). When disciplining your children, know that name calling and speaking abusively should be avoided. According to some scholars, there is no hitting children at all until the age of ten. And hitting for any misconduct should not be used as a first resort or done in the face, or when angry, or in a manner that causes injury.¹

4. Listen and communicate. Listen to what your child’s needs and wants are. Is he trying to let you know he needs attention? Is he trying to express to you that he’s angry and having difficulty controlling his feelings? Is he sleepy and tired, but doesn’t know how to express it verbally. Keep your ears alert to what your child’s needs are. Also, teach your child appropriate ways in which he can express his needs to you. When he can convey his wants and desires more effectively, he will have less need to act out inappropriately.

5. Discipline with respect and love. According to hadith, the Prophet, (SAW) kissed his two grandsons Hassan and Hussein. In fact, he likened the act of kissing your children to being merciful. Kiss, hug and show love to your children. Let them know how much you care for
them. Developing a loving relationship with your children will encourage and help them to actually want to please you more.

According to hadith, Anas bin Malik (ra), said: "I never saw anyone who was more compassionate towards children than the Messenger of Allah (SAW).” What a fine model to follow.

¹http://www.saudigazette.com.sa/index.cfm?

method=home.regcon&contentID=2009012828000

http://www.islamqa.info/en/ref/3347/hitting%20children

http://www.islam-qa.com/en/ref/10427

By Sumaiya Umm Imran (Editor)   Thu, Feb 02, 2012

Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child-- And Keep Your Peace of Mind While at It. To order her e-book or subscribe to her free newsletter, visit her website at: www.grandmajeddah.com

This is an excellent parenting e-book written by Grandma Jeddah. She is a teacher who has taught hundreds of students over 30 years, a mother of 11 children and grandmother of 10. Grandma Jeddah has gained material knowledge as well as practical experience that can help make discipline easier for parents and children. Being a mother of three children all under 4, I have read quite a lot of parenting books to learn more about effective parenting skills. Some of them can really work such as time-out and 1-2-3 technique. I am glad to find that she has also mentioned these techniques and explained them with examples in her book. This is quite a well-researched book where you can learn skills based on secular as well as Islamic points of view.

Moreover, she has also written about special children and how to discipline them. Unfortunately, most people in general, are not really aware of the needs of special children. We live in a society where children with any disability are seen not as normal and almost abandoned by the majority. This sort of attitude can be quite detrimental for the development of children with disabilities. The parents of special children also need support from wider society. Among Muslim societies, there is a lot of ignorance about disabilities. This book can help parents educate themselves about various forms of disabilities and how to deal with them. I love the way she mentioned throughout
the book, some verses from the Qur’an and the Sunnah of our beloved prophet Muhammad (Sallahu alaihe wa sallam) to inspire us as parents to do our best in raising our children.

As Muslims, sometimes we are reluctant to accept advice from non-Islamic sources and applying it to our children. However, reading this book, you will find that many of the concepts in secular parenting books are actually methods that have a basis in our religion. In her own words, “Discipline without Disrespecting has gathered information from these sources and others, to provide you with a comprehensive guide on how to effectively discipline your Muslim child. Grandma Jeddah has taken these resources and compiled them into an easy
to read, simple to learn book.”

There are some good Islamic links to resources for parents and children. She has also written an e-workbook which is an excellent accompaniment to the original e-book. It helps you to put into practice information you learned from the e-book. It also provides additional
child discipline resources for personal development.

I would definitely recommend this book to anyone who wants to learn about good parenting and raising the best of children Insha-Allah.

By Sumaiya Umm Imran (Editor)   Thu, Feb 02, 2012

Website: www.siratt.com

Email: info@siratt.com

Facebook: www.facebook.com/siratt

Every year I keep a diary and try to write my thoughts down almost every single day. I love reading them later especially at the end of the year, sometimes feeling good with what I have achieved throughout the year Alhamdulillah and sometimes feeling sad thinking how I could have done more but missed the chance to do so. Since 2010 I have been using Siratt LifeBook and mashallah never looked back. Every year the LifeBook is just getting better Alhamdulillah. In the beginning it has some very inspiring and thought-provoking chapters on belief, conviction, spirituality, self-esteem, positivity, self-analysis which are worth reading again and again, Alhamdulillah. This year Siratt LifeBook has incorporated numerous exciting ideas and concepts, devised by Productivemuslim.com, to facilitate a practical approach to optimise ones daily productivity. Some of the other features include beautiful verses from the Qur’an, weekly hadith, weekly ‘did you know?’ to inform and remind of Muslim Contributions to civilization, Islamic months calendar, prayer timetable, wonderful images of mosques around the world and so on. In their own words, “This LifeBook’s specific aim is to assist the reader in achieving its aspiration of ‘Living Islam’ in a wholesome sense. It is intended to be an inspiration for the reader as well as a practical guide and diary.”

For us Muslims, having a productive life is an essential part to fulfil our ultimate purpose in life, serving Allah subha ta’ala and gain His Pleasure. I would strongly recommend the Siratt LifeBook. Trust me, you will love using this very practical diary, insha-Allah! May Allah subhana ta’ala help us in living every single day of our life in a more rewarding and fulfilling way and earn His Ridwan, ameen!

By Umm Siham   Tue, Jan 31, 2012

It’s very easy to make. The pies consist of a puff pastry base filled with a vanilla custard. Making the rounds of puff pastry might seem a little difficult but in fact that’s not the case. If you prefer, you could just cut out little circles which fit into the cups.

Ingredients (for 12 custard pies)

1 cup of cream

½ cup of milk

½ cup of sugar

3 egg yolks

2 tablespoons of corn flour

1 vanilla pod

1 sheet ready-rolled puff pastry

Method

Preheat oven to 220 degrees Celsius. Grease every cup of a muffin pan. Put the egg yolks, cream, milk and sugar in a saucepan. Whisk together and add the corn flour. Slice open the vanilla pod lengthways and scrape out the vanilla seeds into the cream.

Heat the cream while stirring constantly until it becomes thicker. Pour the custard into a bowl and set aside to cool. (You may cover the custard with cling film to avoid skin forming on top of the custard. Make sure the cling film does not touch the custard)

Roll out the puff pastry. Cut the pastry sheet in half, put one half on top of the other and set aside for 5 minutes. Roll up the pastry tightly from the short end and cut the pastry log into twelve 1 cm (1/2 inch) rounds. Lay each pastry round on a lightly floured surface and use a rolling pin to roll out until each is 10 cm (4 inches) in diameter.

Press the pastry rounds into the muffin pan. Spoon the cooled custard into the pastry cups and bake for 20-25 minutes, or until the pastry and custard are golden. Leave the pies in the pan for 5 minutes, then transfer to a wire rack to cool completely. Enjoy!

By Ibrahim Mahmud   Tue, Jan 31, 2012

It was a long time before she stopped and whispered in his ears, "Why, brother, why?" Now was the time, he thought, I've to be strong for her. He began to answer softly, "Everyone dies, Salma was no different. Think of it as the start of a new life. Say if you never knew what sleep was, what would you have done at the end of the day? You'd see others closing their eyes, becoming silent. You'd panic, filled with
grief. But as you know there's another day after the night, you don't worry. Same way we move on from this life to the next." "But she was so young!" she tried to protest. "It was her time to go. We can only see the present moment, but Allah SWT can see the past, present, future, all. We only see a little bit of a puzzle but Allah SWT sees the grand design. He has the best of plans and we have to keep faith in Him. Compared to next life this life is nothing, whether one lives ten years, twenty or hundred."

"How can I ever let go of the love!"-she sobbed a little. "You don't have to go of the love! But tell me, who created the love inside you? Our sister is now with the creator whose love is limitless; who loves us more than a mother loves her child. Would you keep a child away from a mother because you love the child? Shouldn't we be happy that our sister is with Allah SWT now?" "Well I guess I'm crying for myself." She wiped away a tear. "I can't bear this pain." "You're forgetting again, Allah loves you more than anyone else. All this pain you're feeling, they're for your own good. Remember when mum forced you to drink milk; you used to say, 'You must hate me so much to make me drink that.' Though you felt bad for the moment, mum still forced you because she loves you and knew you needed it. Likewise Allah put us through pain for our own good. When we're born we're crude, like animals, not worthy of being called the greatest creation. Through test and trials, through pain and hard work, we rise to the level of humans. The pain can be from many things, from injury, from someone else, from failure, from letting go of loved ones. Pain helps us grow as human beings, pain makes us go distant from this world and get closer to Allah SWT. Only then we become worthy of the honor that is waiting for us in the next world. Allah knows what's good for us and so He puts us through pains. All prophets (A.) went through the most painful and hardest trials and became the greatest of humans. Pain is good for you."

"Then why did you cry so much yourself?" She asked. He tried to smile, without much success. "Well, Allah has put love in me, so I grief. It's only humane to feel pain. It's how we react to it that counts. Say you get pinched in the arm, how'd you feel?" She thought for a moment. "Depends on my mood, also on who pinched me." "Right! The exact same pain can cause different reactions. Same incident in life can make some people great and some loser. One can give up hope, go through life sulking or one can be patient and grateful to
Allah and pray to Him even more. Pain is inevitable but suffering is optional. How we deal with pain makes all the difference."

Salma nodded her head in understanding and then gave her brother the smile he hadn't seen for a long time.

By Taskina Binta Mahmud   Tue, Jan 31, 2012

“Freedom’ is a word that gives us a strange happiness. We love to be free. Each and every one of us is searching the way to freedom. But the question comes –what is freedom? Is this doing whatever we wish to do and not being accountable to anyone?
“I can say anything I want, I can do anything I want, I can wear anything I want, I can have anything I want……”
This absolute freedom is only for that entity who is not dependent on anyone and anything.

“Allah is free of all needs." (Qur’an 64:6)

Our creator Allah (SWT) alone has this freedom to do whatever He wishes.
For us freedom has a different meaning. We are slaves of Allah. Our creator has defined our purpose of life; to serve Him alone. It seems very hard to accept ourselves as slaves, but everything around us and we ourselves prove the existence of a very intelligent and wise creator.

Who else but Allah could have made such a complex and mysterious universe? (Qur’an 16:40)

Serving Him alone is easier for us than serving several other entities who will not benefit us the least. Allah tells us to think and ponder. He made everything easy for us, gave us a clear guidance- the Qur’an.

We believe in the book, the whole of it is from our Lord." (Qur’an 3:7)

Our freedom is the freedom to serve our master – to follow His commandments, to fulfil our purpose of creation.
Freedom means freeing ourselves from wrong actions, freedom means keeping our minds free from whispers of Satan.
Freedom means the freedom to ensure our rights, freedom to ensure justice, freedom to be a human.
From the beginning of our creation Allah (SWT) gave us a rare gift, freedom of choice. We are free to choose the right path (path shown by our creator) or otherwise. The destination of two paths has been clearly defined – Satisfaction of our creator and reaching Jannah (paradise) or His dissatisfaction and end up in jahannam (hell). Our creator, the most merciful, urges us to think properly and choose wisely. Our life and intelligence are our resources to be utilized properly. Every action has two impacts-good or bad. Every action, speech or thought either calls towards the right path or diverts us from it.

We (Allah) have indeed sent signs that make things clear and Allah guides whom He wills to the straight way." (Qur’an 24:45-46)

Benefits of actions and deeds must be greater than cost, profit must be maximized to ensure our freedom.
The life is a test and we always find Satan by our side to distort the meanings for us and distract us from right path.
Those who choose wisely will taste the freedom.

“Our Lord! You didn’t create all of this for nothing. So save us from the punishment of the fire." (Qur’an 3:190-191)